Day One

Posted on March 25, 2011 by cody

Awake another 30 minutes before my alarm. This time, up and out the door 15 minutes early. Alarm time? 6am.

I think one of the things that I miss while I’m immersed in the experience of Disney is simply the ability to disconnect. From the word go, there are countless people. Our room? 7 people. Breakfast? 200 people easily. The shuttle? 25 people. And the park? No clue, but I’m sure that the entire population Juneau (30k+) is milling about between attractions at any given moment. In fact, I’d wager that there are multiple Juneau’s roaming about. Wow.

It’s a funny thing. We’re at the “happiest place on earth” in a manic state, racing from line to line, admiring the countless visual masterpieces. Last night, on the Shuttle ride back to our hotel, the entire bus (20-30 people) just looked wiped out. Not one person was talking. Kids lay slumped in parents laps, mothers and fathers alike just staring forward reeling from the day.

Just now, someone walked into the lobby, and while I didn’t hear the whole conversation, her part essential was, “Tired. Wiped out. Not sure if I can go another day.” Someone should spread the word that all play and no quiet time makes Jack a tired boy. I’m realizing the importance of some quality quiet time to reflect and consider what is important; thus my wakeup call at (before) 6am.

But, that’s not really what I wanted to make mention of in this morning’s writeup.

Day one in the park was nearly as good as I could have hoped for, especially as I didn’t have any expectations. 🙂

After the group had breakfast, we headed to the Paradise Pier hotel to meet the clan for the first time. As we rolled in, we were informed that our meet-and-greet would considerably fewer people than we had originally thought. Weather delays and shuttle closings had made for a hugely late night for most. We eventually headed over with a posse of 10 or so, and then headed to the park. It was then I realized that this could be a very long day. People forgot tickets, some walked fast, some slow. The group split from itself and in some cases reunited. Sure the path was circuitous, but I re-realized that if you want a group to travel together, you have to travel slowly. Patience and compassion is crucial. Herding cats is harder than it already looks; it is a physical task, requiring lots of walking, looking, waiting, more looking, more waiting, and, if you’re lucky more walking. Oh, and that’s not even including the mental exercise of keeping an eye on any young (or young in spirit) adventurers and whether they’re still nearby…

Within the first 30 minutes, the group had split up. Mostly because some of the ladies of our crew were going to be headed out of the park for an alternative excursion. Heather & Caitlin went to see Beauty and the Beast (a broadway show) and some shopping. I decided to go with the ladies until they had to go. We enjoyed a raucus good time (er, that might be sarcastic – it was fairly tame) in the Bugs Life themed area… including Heimlich’s Chew Chew Train. It’s nearly as exciting as it sounds. It was fun for me because I had the chance to follow the whim of the gals enjoying the company of Heather.

Wow, I just realized that I’ve been slowly sitting here for the last 45 minutes (with a break for breakfast) working on this posting. I better speed things up if I hope to get back to the room by 7. (We have a tour of the Nutrilite Center for Optimal Health at 9 this morning.)

So, fast forwarding through my day for the sake of time, I was largely solo for the entirety of the afternoon. I spent all of my time in the California Adventure park. Midway games (I won my first and received a 14″ version of Woody from Toy Story.) The Screamer roller coaster (my first Fast Pass experience), and then the followup single-rider line (a very good choice, if an option). Various shows & entertainment and a lot of wandering. I eventually relaxed into the solo exploration and went on a number of rides and even took the time to track down some healthy options for snacks throughout the day (though, in subsequent visits I will try my best to bring snacks so I don’t have to hunt.) Periodically I’d see Nick & Amy headed in the opposite direction, and then towards the later part of the day, I came across Jim & some of our Clan (these happened to be family through the connection of Aunt Ellen); Karon, Pete, Stephanie & Eva. It was fun to get to know them and chat for a while.

I think I enjoyed the option to connect with strangers. Little kids like the Portland, OR kid who was excited about shooting our way through the Soarin’ ride, or the 3-4 year-old who spotted my winnings (the Woody doll) from the midway games (I took the opportunity to surprise him and his mom by offering it to him – I hope it brightened his day.) Or, there was Gary who is a student in the area who is learning to produce music (his passion), after serving in Afganistan.

Next, I’d talk about heading back to the park and our shenanigans in our return… but, sadly, my time is up. I’m sure I’ll continue my reflection another time, but for now, it’s off to wake the crew and get on the road towards Buena Park for our tour!

It was a good first day at the park. I hope today offers some of the same opportunities to bless others and be filled with new experiences. Tonight, we have the first Bennett Clan gathering for dinner at Goofy’s Kitchen… Maybe I should figure out where that is!

Till next time, cheers!

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Great Questions

Posted on March 24, 2011 by cody

I woke up 40 minutes before my alarm went off and for the most part just laid there in the dark thinking about getting up, but also just thinking my alarm was a moment away. As it turns out, it wasn’t. After 20 minutes, I couldn’t take it anymore and headed out to the breakfast buffet.

The scene is about as insane as I could hope for. It started calmly enough, but after the last 30 minutes, nearly every table is in use, and there are little kids sprinting from table to table, and parents looking worn, even though it’s the first hour of their day. 

Surreal would be a good word for this. 

Kids crying. Kids wild eyed. Parents still wiping the sleep from their eyes. Orange juice spilling across tables, and of course the news is running full steam ahead on flat screen TVs mounted to the wall. We’re at the happiest place on earth and Lohan is rejecting a plea deal in the background!? Mostly I’m shocked at the contrast of it all. 

Enough with introductions. Really I wanted to take a moment to note my evening. We made it into LAX, got our vibrant orange rocket (a dodge grand caravan, complete with automatic side doors and satellite radio), and eventually made it to our hotel. A bit small for our crew, but for what it is, it’s nice. 

We headed out to dinner at Mimi’s Cafe, and, in no uncertain terms (read: sternly, after a day of travel and being hungry) ordered dinner. It came, we scarfed. 

While the 7 of us sat, we chatted. Amy (Nick’s girlfriend), fired question after question to my mother. Great questions. Pertinent questions. Questions I had never thought to ask after all these years. 

What kind of music did he listen to? 
Did he have a good vocabulary? 

Of course these led to others, and the conversation carried until our food arrived. It was fun to see Amy gather information and I just sat and soaked it in. 

Of course I’m excited to learn more. Of course I’ve had questions over the years. Of course I’ve asked countless questions. But this foray into the machine-gun approach of information gathering was great!  Rather  than “what was he like”, she got into great detail by asking other things like “beyond women and alcohol, what did he spend his money on?” Very focused, very easy to answer. 

Today we’ll be delving into more family. More questions. More information. 

I just hope & pray that I can maintain a spongelike approach to all of this. It’s a crash course in me, my father, my family. 

I’m headed back to the room now to rouse the crowd if they’re not already up and get ready to roll out to our next rendezvous. Rest assured I’ll be thinking of what questions I really want to know the answers to. 

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Setting Out

Posted on March 24, 2011 by cody

Well, I’m sitting on a plane somewhere above 10,000 feet as they’re not yelling at me to put my electronics away. Good thing they don’t walk around and ask about bluetooth, or they’d chase away my keyboard. 🙂

So far, things have gone smoothly. Packing last night lasted until 2am and after waking at 5am, I can tell my ears are warm (an indicator that my mom has always claimed tells her when I’m tired). I haven’t felt the need to nap, but it might capture me during this flight. We’re in the bulkhead, so I don’t have to worry about someone dropping their chair into my lap. Heather’s next to me, flitting between brief naps, solitaire and excitement. Currently, her eyes are lit up knowing that food is coming soon on this segment. I love her. Her joy for life is contagious, and it’s fun to have my view expanded to appreciate all of those “little” details.

Somewhere behind me, we’ve got a bunch of relatives. Jim & Ellen (aunt & uncle), Kathleen & Seth (cousin & son), Bill (Kathleen’s close friend), and of course Nick & Amy (my brother and his girlfriend).

A highlight so far was our reception by Seth in the hallway of SeaTac. Nick, Amy, Heather & myself were conversing about whether or not food was in order. Suddenly a three foot bundle of energy tossed himself eagerly at Nicholas’s waist. Er, okay…? My initial thought was that this little boy had mistakenly identified Nick as friend or family, he recoiled, everyone looking a bit confused. Then I notice that someone is in the distance orchestrating this ambush; she’s saying something like, “no, no, that one is Cody!” (obviously pointing this effervescent little boy in my direction.) Suddenly it dawns on me: this is Seth! And of course it’s Kathleen in the distance guiding him towards us. As it turns out, Seth has an eye for the Bennett’s. 🙂

In our initial greetings, it’s funny to note how recollections can fade. Sometime in the last 20 years, I visited Kathleen at Big Lake, and during that time I met Bill. My memory of the trip isn’t nearly as strong as my mother’s who recalls that we took a roadtrip down the Soldotna peninsula to visit Jim. I do remember going to Big Lake, but beyond that, there are major gaps in memory. Our best assessment is that it likely was sometime in the 1993/94 time frame. And of course before that, the last time I had seen Uncle Jim was at my father’s burial some 22 years ago. (Am I really old enough to be able to remember something thaaat long ago? Ha!)

In my “harmony” personality theme, I want to be sure others are having a good time, and conflict is at a minimum. I notice that there are some hesitancies or apprehensions that may be present, and I’m hoping that they fade as the week goes on. Yesterday I was listening to a talk where the speaker reminded the listeners of one of Covey’s seven tenets: Start with the End in Mind. I guess that’s what I’ll do:

I want to connect with family. I want to understand the family connections that exist, and understand how I am a part of it. I want to build the friendship between my brother and I. I want to soak in the information without preconceived notions. I want to have boundless energy and to show boundless love for everyone present, being genuinely interested in who they are both on the surface and at their core. I want to serve and bless. Both things that I’ve been fortunate to receive in my own upbringing.

In the earlier flight, I listened to a talk by John C. Maxwell who was speaking on winning with people. He noted, of course, that everyone has their own lens, and that who they are will influence how they interact or interpret situations. One element of his talk stood out; (in my hazy recollection) he suggested that people are products of three elements: 1) Genetics, 2) Input, and 3) Association. Now that I think back on it, it seems like I am mis-remembering that list. I’m pretty sure in my list 2 & 3 are fairly similar, so maybe later on I’ll re-listen to it for a clear recollection. But, even still, the impact stands: we are who we are largely in part due to our genetics and our upbringing. Without growing up with information about my father, I’m only half-aware of where I come from. To that end, I would add one more ‘want’ to my list above: I want to learn about who my father was.

Maybe my list will change with time, but for now, I’ll try to keep focused on those things. Connect with family, learn about my father & build relationships.

In an effort to have boundless, unflappable energy and love for others, I’ll be continuously praying, reflecting and trying to be good about filling my own tank. Both with good head-food as well as body-fuel.

Stay tuned…
-cb

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Family Union

Posted on March 20, 2011 by cody

I’m trying to find the words inside to express some of the sensations I’ve been living with for the past several weeks.

Around a month ago, Heather & I decided to attend the up-and-coming Bennett Family Reunion. My older brother Nick and his girlfriend will come too. Then I offered to bring my mother on the trip. Then we expanded to invite Heather’s mum & sis too! Suddenly, we’ve got a gaggle of seven descending on LAX this next Wednesday. But wait a second… Back to that word, “Reunion”… I have to admit that title is a bit of a misnomer. Sure we’re part of the Bennett Family tree, but the “Reunion” term suggests that it’s a re-gathering of folks in my blood line. That’s not the case here.

22 years ago, my father died. In another two days, I will have the chance to meet most of the Bennett Clan, and have the chance to make connections that hitherto had been buried by distance and simple lack of follow through. I am beyond grateful that I will have the chance to meet these folks, but somehow I am lost in wonder about what it means to have family. I am suddenly more than doubling my blood relations. I guess they had always been there, but without some type of awareness, I’ve lived my 30 years as though they have simply not existed.

Maybe it’s the same for everyone who will be in attendance; maybe they’ll wonder about the new kids at the table, or maybe it won’t matter at all. I still have questions. Will we look like other folks around the table? Are there specific traits that will stand out? Will there be others in the crowd that have red hair like my father and I?

For my brother and I, we’re going from knowing _of_ our father and a couple of his siblings to meeting and placing nearly two-dozen names and faces. It will undoubtedly be a wild ride. I’m thinking even more so than the fact that this is also our first experience to the Disneyland Park.

I’ve tried to piece together the family tree in the simplest forms with the first names and some brief descriptions from my Uncle Jim who is (from what I can gather) the catalyst for the reunion. With such an onslaught of new names and faces it was interesting to try to comprehend how our family is structured. For instance: Seth is the son of Annie who is the daughter of Sid who was the brother of Jim who is the brother of Michael who is my dad. You try keeping it all straight. That’s only three (living) relatives in that branch. Oh, and according to Ancestry.com, my tree is still largely incomplete without full names, dates of birth and other solicited tidbits… I suppose taking photos will be part of my M.O., but what other kinds of documentations will be prudent to initiate? Fortunately, I think there are others like Annie who will be able to piece together that puzzle for me, yet how do I keep from having my brain burst with all of the new input?

I’m looking forward to it, but for someone who likes to know what lies ahead, this is nearly at the antithesis of comprehension. Disneyland & Family. Both things I’ve never experienced packed into a ____ (*insert adjective here*) week.

Stay tuned for future musings. I’m sure this’ll be a doosey for me!

-cb

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The Importance of Being Vulnerable

Posted on March 3, 2011 by cody

I wanted to name this “the importance of being earnest”, but the talk really wasn’t about being earnest; it was about vulnerability. It’s one of those topics that you might touch upon in your soul searching, but oh-so-gratifying to see shared with the world from via a TED talk.

In my marriage, I deeply want to be MORE vulnerable. Each day I want to lay down my self and allow my own self concept to continue forming in the context of our marriage being an “US” rather than an “Heather + I”. I recognize that much of my self damaging behaviors in my early adulthood were affiliated with my own journey to find validation and worth at the end of my own choices, but frankly, we can’t find it there. We have to find it in being authentic and real and vulnerable to ourselves and others.

She had so many good points… This feels like a talk worth watching regularly. We happened to watch it over dinner together and it was the best ‘Dinner & a Movie’ date we’ve had in a while (in my opinion) because this topic has the chance to make a difference in our lives and in our world.

But enough about what I think we already know I like it because I’m posting it on the blog! Take a few minutes to watch it… and then let me know what you think in the comments below!

By the way, I just want you to know that I am thankful that you are my friend, and that I’m glad I can be yours.

 

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